Golf
8 May, 2025
Augusta influence in Rainbow
After the rains of the previous Saturday, our local heroes returned to the Royal and Ancient in even bigger numbers to take on a course now tinged with green.
It may not quite be up to the lushness of Augusta, but the character of the men taking to the tees was just as good.
With the sun out and a slight breeze from the north, conditions were made for scoring, and three of our 15 golfers managed to score well.
The rest?
Well, they didn’t score quite so well.
As well as having to keep our heads and our stableford scores, Saturday was also the first round in the annual singles’ knockout competition.
And there is nothing like a bit of match play to bring out the competitiveness in our members, as well as plenty of not quite supportive advice and observations.
The first match-up saw younger Oscar ‘The Flying Mullet’ Clarke take on Peter ‘Old Man’ Gosling.
This pair coincidentally faced each other in the first round last year, with young Clarke getting over the line on the 20th hole.
But Saturday was not that day.
Instead, it was Old Man Goso’s day.
The Flying Mullet played well, but playing six shots less than his handicap was always going to be a challenge and so it proved.
Goso clinched the win on the 17th.
The next pairing saw the defending champion, Stephen ‘Little Pom’ Leach, take on Wayne ‘Groundskeeper’ Nitschke.
Both these players have been struggling for form of late and this was very evident through the
front nine.
Just like in the Federal election, it wasn’t about winning a hole, it was about the other guy finding
a way to lose a hole.
And there were some very creative losses early on.
Nitschke managed to grab an early lead and, despite some better golf from captain Leach, it was a case of too little too late, with Nitschke getting up on the 18th and the championship defence lying in tatters after only one round.
The pair behind saw a match-up between two of the best cricketers in the district (Mark ‘Muddy’ Cocks and Roger ‘Milk Thistle’ Smith) trying to become two of the best golfers.
There were certainly some big hitting from these two boys, with Muddy especially smacking the ball huge distances, imperilling the group in front who twice had to dive for safety on the 11th as Muddy’s second shot fizzed through the back of the scrape on the par-five 11th and on the 15th as his wayward shot landed next to the tee-off area for the 16th.
Sadly for President Rog, things went horribly wrong on the 9th as his favourite club fell victim to a
rash shot under a tree.
Seems that Roger doesn’t just swat at milk thistles, he swats at gum trees too.
After snapping his club into three pieces, Ol’ Milk Thistle was heard to lament that it was only a tree, as if the club should have dispatched the mallee gum in the same way it dispatches milk thistles.
I feel President Roger is due for a nickname upgrade.
Needless to say, Muddy won this match comfortably on the 16th.
The next battle was always going to be intriguing.
Travis ‘The Brown Bear’ Clarke had hit some great form recently, and while Pam ‘Grim Reaper’ Clugston had cut him down a few strokes, it was hard to see how he would lose to a man who had just turned 80.
But clearly, Dexter ‘The Smiling Assassin’ Schilling had read the wrong script, and there may come a time when Dexter succumbs to the realities of his age.
But Saturday was not going to be that day.
Playing one of the great rounds of the year, Dexter not only scored an impressive 40 stableford points, he dispatched the in-form Clarke on the 16th hole.
To Clarke’s credit, he did well to stave off defeat for as long as he did.
The last pairing saw Daryn ‘The Accountant’ Clugston take on another of the in-form and rightly feared golfers, Hamish ‘The Hammer’ Hollamby.
Clugston didn’t give himself much hope, but in an interesting turn of events, Clugston’s wife, Pam ‘The Grim Reaper’ Clugston, had just slashed some strokes off The Hammer’s handicap, and this (with a fantastic birdie on the 12th – the second-hardest hole on the course) would prove the difference.
It was a tight tussle all day, but in the end the experience and cool efficiency of The Accountant were enough to snatch a victory on the 18th hole.
In other events around the course, five young players took on the course to either get a handicap or just enjoy some fun.
Heath ‘The Butcher’ Clugston showed his promise as a future golfer with a very handy 20 points on the back nine.
Vice-captain Aaron ‘DeChambeau’ Glen, just like captain Pommy Leach, had a day to forget with a paltry 29 points and a joint claim with Leach for the NAGA Award.
We also welcomed two young blokes, Stevie and Lochie, who had a lot of fun and will hopefully be encouraged to venture to our course again.
And finally, we had our newest member, Jimmy ‘JK’ Kranz, return for just a second hit.
JK also provided one of the highlights of the day when his tee-shot on the 5th hit a tree, ricocheting backwards to finish up behind the bench seat that's behind the 5th tee.
Offers were made to move the bench seat but JK pressed on, only to then hit the seat with his second shot.
This only proves that Jimmy Kranz is a perfect fit for our club.
This week is stableford.
SCORES
Men: Dexter Schilling 40 pts, Oscar Clarke 39 pts, Mark Cocks 38 pts, Peter Gosling 33 pts, Hamish Hollamby 33 pts, Wayne Nitschke 31 pts, Heath Clugston 31 pts, Daryn Clugston 31 pts, Roger Smith 30 pts, Stephen Leach 29 pts, Jimmy Kranz 134
NTPs: 5th Wayne Nitschke, 10th Heath Clugston